Waiting for Miss Green

I wanted to write a post about how hard it is to just wait. I don't think that I am a particularly impatient person but sometimes waiting can be some sort of a torture.

Mike and I got married last July in France. We came back to the United States in August and sent an application for a spouse visa in September after gathering together all the necessary documents. Unfortunately, we forgot to add the check (!) to the package so we learned that we had to resend the whole package one more time, which we did a month later in October. At the time, we were told on the phone that the process usually takes 3 to 4 months to come through and I was happy thinking that I would be a legal resident by January or February. Little did we know that because of an increase in the fee (which we were not aware of), the number of applications doubled during the summer months and delayed the process. We didn't think much of it at first and continued to wait. Meanwhile, I had to go back to France in November because I cannot stay more than three months in the United States with a visitor's visa. So, I went back to France, I worked in a store for the Holidays and I came back to the United States mid-January. The immigration officers kept me for a while after I landed in Boston because I didn't have a return ticket. At the time, I was thinking that my green card would be ready by April and that I would take my return ticket once I knew exactly when I can pick up my visa at the American embassy in Paris. Unfortunately (and I should have known that), you are not allowed to come to the USA without a return ticket if you are a visitor. Luckily, Mike was at the airport and bought me a ticket to go back in April. This little event traumatized me a little because I felt like the officers were accusing me of sneaking into the country. One of them told me : "I am two inches to deporting you back to France." I am probably too sensitive but I had just traveled for 10 or 12 hours, I was very tired from the jet lag and this officer scared the hell out of me.

Anyway, I felt better after a couple days. Mike and I started looking for a house because we were still living with his parents at the time. Given the good economic conjuncture for buying real estate (with the prices dropping) and Mike's good salary, we decided to look into buying instead of renting. It was a fun period that kept me busy. I kept looking for houses on the Internet and Mike and I would go to open houses in the week end. After a couple of weeks, we found our dream house in Wakefield. We went to an open house on a snowy day and we put an offer right away. We passed papers in March and became homeowners - rather Mike became a homeowner as they refused to put my name on the deed and the loan probably because of the residency issue. In April, we had still not heard from the visa office. All we knew was that the check had been cashed in January. Mike decided to contact his Congressman, Edward Markey and his aid, Maggie McClory helped us by contacting the visa office for us and sending a letter to have my case expedited. She also managed to tell us our application number.

April came and I had to go back to France. I decided to go for just a week because I didn't want to be apart from Mike for a long time any more. I was very happy to see my family. I told them everything about the house and the town of Wakefield. After a week, I came back. This time, I didn't make the same mistake again: I had a return ticket for July. Nevertheless, the officers were even harder on me. The first immigration officer asked me what I was going to do in the USA. I told him that I was here to visit (because I have a visitor visa). He asked me who I was going to visit. At first, I just said: "some friends" because I know that "husband" is the trigger word that brings me directly to the special office downstairs for further interrogation. But then he asked me if I was married and I always swore to myself that I would never lie to immigration officers because I want to do things the right way. I am convinced that if I do things the right way, everything is going to go fine for my Green Card. That's the reason why I never overstayed any visa, I never worked while being in the USA. I have always done things the right way. So I told him that I was married to an American citizen and that I was coming here on a visitor's visa to be with my husband while my spouse visa was being processed. And of course, as I was expecting, he sent me to the special office downstairs for further investigation. Downstairs, the officer asked me all kinds of questions about me and Mike, where we met, where I went to school, what I studied... He asked me if I had a job in France and I said "no". I told him that I had a return ticket, that I never overstayed any visa and I was just here to be with my husband. He spent a long time behind his computer typing things and it made me really nervous. Then, he told me to go get my bags which I did. He opened them and checked all the items I had. While in France, I went to the store with my mom to buy some little things for the house like place mats and bowls. I also brought some stuffed animals and things that belonged to me. When he saw those, the officer told me that as a visitor, I am only supposed to bring things like clothes and toiletries and that the items I brought make things look like I was going to stay in the USA and not come back. At the end, all my things were scattered on the floor. He told me to put them back into the suitcases and went back to the computer. The people there were all looking at me and I felt a little humiliated. I closed my suitcases and went back to sit on the bench. I waited a long time and eventually, the officer came back and gave me my passport. He told me that it was okay for this time but that I have to be very careful because it might not be as "easy" next time! He told me that if I continue to do this, I will have spent more time in the USA than in "my foreign country" and that it is not normal. I wanted to tell him that all I wanted was to be with my husband, with the love of my life and that I wasn't trying to do anything illegal. Is it wrong to want to be with the person you love more than anything in the world? Is it wrong to try to start building a life with the person you love? Is it wrong to bring personal items to the place I want (and am entitled) to live? In his mind, there was a risk that I was going to immigrate illegally to the USA. But what would be the point for me? As the spouse of an American citizen, I have the right to come live with my husband (or rather my husband has the right to have me live with him) so why would I try to compromise that by immigrating illegally? Is being an illegal alien such a desirable life? Having to hide from authorities all the time, not being able to find a real job, not being able to be part of a community: is that desirable? I know that some people come to America illegally because they are desperate: they live in a poor country, have no job and see no future for themselves. In that case, for them, coming to the USA and living as an illegal alien beats the alternative. This is extremely sad and I feel grateful for not being in that position by my situation is totally different. I am not immigrating to the "USA", i am immigrating to "my husband's country" and it is very different. I really like the USA and I like living here but I would have never come live here if it wasn't for Mike. I am not coming here to have a better job. I went to one of the best universities in France and I know that I could have found a very good job in Europe. If anything, my job opportunities here are thinner because while my school, Sciences-Po, has a very good reputation in France, it is hardly known here. I wanted to tell all that to the immigration officer but I didn't dare. I thanked him and walked away, eager to fall in Mike's comforting arms.

It is now mid-June. We still haven't heard from the visa place. They were supposed to have sent us a letter to confirm that they received our application in January but we never received anything. Congressman Markey asked them to resend the letter in April but we still didn't receive anything. Mike called again on Monday to make sure that they had the right address and they are supposed to resend it another time. According to their website, they are supposed to be done processing the applications from July 31st, 2007 and it hasn't moved since March (it already said July 31st). We sent our application in October but it was opened only in January so I don't know which one counts. I am going back to France on July 6th with Mike. We are going to spend 3 weeks there together and then I don't think that I am going to come back on a visitor's visa. I think that I am going to stay there until I finally have the card. It is getting too expensive to go back and forth. It is already hard enough to pay a mortgage and everything that goes with it with just one salary. I don't really know what to think anymore as far as the how long it is going to take. Mike thinks that once they pass those summer months, it should get faster. I am trying to stay positive and be optimistic but it is not always easy. I always thought that I could start applying to schools by now and that I could start working in September. Now, I don't think that it is possible any more.

I feel really frustrated because all I am doing now is waiting. I am waiting and I don't even know for how long. I feel like I cannot start my life because I don't have this magic pass. That's what the immigration officer tried to tell me by pointing out all of the things I brought with me: I do not have the right to feel at home here yet. I feel like I am not welcome here, I feel like I am a suspect and I have to keep a low profile until they clear me. All I want to is living a normal life with my love: when am I going to be allowed to do that?

cats and lilies

A little while ago I was going to start writing a post about how wonderful my cats are, how funny and adorably mischievous, how affectionate and cute. But then came the lily... Actually the lily was there a day before we got the kitties. On a friday night, we threw a housewarming party to celebrate the purchase of our first home. We invited around 50 people and had a great turnout in spite of the rain. Of course, along with cole slaw, noodle salad and brownies, some guests brought flowers. We got a very nice and colorful bouquet from Mike's parents:

The next day came the kitties. The first 2 weeks with Doodle and Crinkle were wonderful. Little by little, they adapted to their new environment. They checked out the whole house and were pretty curious about everything. Then on a Friday morning, we noticed that one of the cat (we suspected that it was Doodle) threw up on the carpet. We didn't think much of it at first but since we had to bring them to the vet soon for a checkup, we decided to take an appointment for the same night so we could know why he vomited and if it was ok. I noticed that a piece of the big yellow flowers was missing and that another one was on the floor (at the time, I was naive and didn't even know that those flowers were actually lilies). I spent the day with the kitties, trying to check their behavior and I didn't see anything wrong. At 4:30, we went to the animal hospital. The veterinary examined both kitties and according to her, everything seemed to be normal. We told her about the flowers and she told us to check what kind of flower it was because some flowers are toxic and can be fatal for cats. She told us about the lily but believe me or not (and I feel very silly to admit that now), I didn't think that those flowers were lilies - for me lilies are the white long flowers we had at our wedding. Back home, we check out the flower and sure enough, it was a lily. We kinda of panicked because we went on the Internet and saw that if it is not treated immediately, cats who swallow some piece of a lily can die within 72 hours. Meanwhile, Doodle threw up again (including some pieces of flower) which only increased our freaking out. We called the vet in a hurry. She told us that the animal hospital in Wakefield was now closed but she advised us to go the one in Woburn, which is open 24/7. We went there quickly with the 2 kitties. We were totally panicking at that point. We had to wait for about 45 minutes before a doctor came and examined Crinkle and Doodle. She said that the best thing to do was testing their kidney by testing their blood level (because plant poisoning can lead to kidney failure). So we waited while the vet was taking their blood and analyzing it. A little while later, the vet came back and told us that the results from the blood testing wouldn't be available for another hour or so 9it was around 8:30 at that point). She also told us that whatever the results are, it would be preferable to keep them for 24 hours and treat them because the poisoning might not show up in the blood test right away even if they were actually poisoned. Mike and I felt a little strange because she didn't tell us that at first when we arrived. Why didn't she tell us right away that the blood tests wouldn't be reliable and that the kitties would have to be treated anyway? Well the answer probably resides in the bill. She presented us with an estimate of the cost of keeping the cats for 24 hours under IV and giving them charcoal to clean their stomach and intestines. The bill amounted to $1,200! But we didn't have the choice, we had to do it because alternative might have been the death of our cats. We didn't spend time thinking. We knew that it was a serious matter and that we had to do it. Even though we only had them for 2 weeks, we became very attached to Doodle and Crinkle and beyond that, we are their owners and we have a responsibility to take care of them as well as we can. So we said goodbye and we left them there. During the night, the doctor called us to inform us that they received the test results. Doodle's blood test was normal and Crinkle's was a little bit elevated but according to her it was either due to dehydration or to the shot he received at the vet early this night. It made us feel a little better but we still spent a rough night worrying about them. At 6:30, after her shift, the night doctor called us and said that Crinkle and Doodle were doing good and that it was the first time that she saw cats drinking the charcoal without a problem, "no wonder they ate the lily at your house," she said, "they would eat anything!" Later that day, another doctor called us and told us that the cats were doing good but that she would prefer to keep them at the hospital for another 24 hours just to make sure that they are ok. At that point, Mike and I had just balanced our checkbook and we noticed that we were very very tight budget now that we paid $1,200. We could definitely not afford another $8 or 900 to keep them there. She told us that "if it was her cats, she wouldn't hesitate" but she probably doesn't know what it means to be on a tight budget! We told her that we would be waiting for the new blood tests results and that we would decide afterward. Later that day, the blood tests showed that both cats were normal and we started feeling much better. After all, the tests were already good the day before. We went through the treatment anyway as a prevention but now that they are good again, we wanted to bring our babies home. And we did. The next doctor was much nicer and signed a release right away. The next few days were pretty hectic because I was very anxious that they wouldn't feel well. I would wake up in the middle of the night and make sure that they are okay. After a week , we were supposed to have the blood tested again but since it would have another couple of hundred dollars, we didn't do it. It has been 3 weeks now and the kitties are doing okay. Their hair is growing back very very slowly where they were shaved for the IV.

I must admit that I got really really scared. I removed all flowers and plants form my house and bought fake flowers. I would advise any cat owner to check the plants and flowers in their house and make sure that none of them is poisonous.